Someone Take The Wheel
1.28.2005
  Bipartisan Word Search Game

Fun for the whole family! 
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  Aren't they all for sale? 
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1.27.2005
  The Diary of Laura B

GangofOne comes up with another brilliant installation in his newly created Diary of Laura B. Enjoy
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  Ummmmm........
They say Oklahoma is mediocre. But it's not. It's actually amazing. Amazingly, stupid that is.

"OKLAHOMA CITY (Reuters) -- An Oklahoma senator hopes to revive cockfighting in the state by putting tiny boxing gloves on the roosters instead of razors.

The Oklahoma legislature outlawed the blood sport in 2002 because of its cruelty to the roosters, which are slashed and pecked to death while human spectators bet on the outcome.

But State Sen. Frank Shurden, a Democrat from Henryetta and a long-time defender of cockfighting, said the ban had wiped out a $100-million business." 
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1.26.2005
  IF YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT:

· GEORGE W. BUSH DID NOT LIE TO THE NATION ABOUT IRAQ
· THERE REALLY WERE STORES OF WMD’S IN IRAQ
· SADDAM HUSSEIN WAS CONNECTED TO AL QAIDA
· SADDAM HUSSEIN WAS INVOLVED IN THE ATTACKS OF 9/11
· SADDAM HUSSEIN POSED AN IMMINENT THREAT TO THE U.S.
· GEORGE W. BUSH HAD A REALISTIC PLAN FOR WAR IN IRAQ
· THERE IS A COALITION OF NATIONS FIGHTING WITH US IN IRAQ
· IRAQ IS AN IMPORTANT BATTLEGROUND IN THE WAR ON TERROR
· THE WAR IN IRAQ HAS MADE THE WORLD A SAFER PLACE
· THE WAR IN IRAQ HAS MADE AMERICA A SAFER PLACE
· MOST OF THE INSURGENTS IN IRAQ ARE TERRORISTS
· FEW IRAQI CIVILIANS HAVE BEEN KILLED BY US LED FORCES
· BOMBING CIVILIAN AREAS IS A VITAL WAY TO FIGHT TERROR
· LIFE FOR IRAQIS IS BETTER TODAY THAN BEFORE THE WAR
· THE INTERIM GOVERNMENT IS SUPPORTED BY MOST IRAQIS
· GEORGE W. BUSH HAS A PLAN FOR ENDING THE VIOLENCE
· GEORGE W. BUSH HAS A PLAN FOR ENDING TERROR
· OUR MILITARY MEN AND WOMEN ARE DYING FOR FREEDOM

Then click HERE.

 
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  Pfffffffffft!!!!!!!!!!!

James Dobson has his work cut out for him.

Last week, the conservative flame-thrower denounced SpongeBob SquarePants - the harmless cartoon sponge who holds hands with his friends and lives in an underwater pineapple - for appearing in a "pro-homosexual video." Next month, a regular character on The Simpsons will come out and be married in a same-sex wedding. 
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  Senate Judiciary Confirms Gonzales

 
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  Applause!

Atrios delivers a truly inspired rant. Snippage:

"But, if you're a relatively informed voter who thinks the best way to reduce abortions -- especially abortions internationally, not just locally -- is to vote for the anti-contraception, abstinence-only teaching, global gag rule supporting, Antonin Scalia loving Bush administration, then frankly I don't give a shit what you think. I have no desire to reach out to you. That is, if you're relatively informed and you believe these things then I assume your "pro-life" position is motivated by something other than the simple desire to reduce abortions. The number of abortions went down under Clinton administration policies, and up under Bush-administration ones."
 
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  I never give anyone hell. I just tell the truth. They think it is hell.-- Harry Truman 
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  Bwahaaaa!

Atrios shares with us that someone in charge of listing the schedule on C-Span 3 has a sense of humor:

 
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  Microwaving Iraq

Janaury 25, 2005 - On the rooftop of a shrapnel-pocked building in the ruins of Fallujah, a team of GI's stealthily sets up a gray plastic dome about two-feet in diameter. Keeping well back from the sight lines of the street and nearby buildings, they plug the cable connectors on the side of the "popper" into a power unit. The grunts have no clue what the device does. They are just following orders.

"Most of the worker-bees that are placing these do not even know what is inside the "domes" just that they were told where to place them by Intel weenies with usually no nametag," reports my source, a very well informed combat veteran I will call "Hank".

The grunts call the plastic devices "poppers" or "domes". Once activated, each hidden transmitter emits a widening circle of invisible energy capable of passing through metal, concrete and human skulls up to half a mile away. "They are saturating the area with ULF, VLF and UHF freqs," Hanks says, with equipment derived from US Navy undersea sonar and communications.

But its not being used to locate and talk to submarines under Baghdad.

After powering up the unit, the grunts quickly exit the area. It is their commanders, fervent hope that any male survivors enraged by brutal American bombardments that damaged virtually every building in this once thriving "City of Mosques", displacing a quarter-million residents while murdering thousands of children, women and elders in their homes -- will lose all incentive for further resistance and revenge.

...

"The 'poppers,' are capable of using a combo of ULF, VLF, UHF and EHF wavelengths in any combination at the same time, sometimes using one as a carrier wave for the others," Hank explains, in a process called superheterodyning. The silent frequencies daily sweeping Fallujah and other trouble spots are the same Navy "freqs that drove whales nuts and made them go astray onto beaches."
(end snip)
 
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1.25.2005
  "Major Major had been born too late and too mediocre. Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was." -- Joseph Heller, Catch 22 
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  Oh My.

Can't even imagine the howls if Chelsea had been carrying on at the inaugural ball like this...then again, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

 
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  Bartcop/Worst President Ever/SNL Video

Toolz.blogs.com brings us the video - enjoy! 
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1.24.2005
  Not In Our Name

Click it. Click it now. Say it loud. Say it proud... 
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  Oh, Just Google It Already 
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  The Scots Get In On the Deal

In Washington, about 500 people rallied in a park miles from the Capitol, where the inauguration took place. Protesters covered hundreds of cardboard boxes with black cloth and American flags to symbolise US troops and others killed in Iraq. Signs read, Worst President Ever and Four more years: God HELP America.
 
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  SignOnSanDiego Gets It Wrong!

Sheesh, didn't they see the photos?

"They jeered and shook their fists as Bush rode past. "Worst president ever, impeachbush.org" one sign said. Another read: "Guilty of war crimes."
 
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  And Tennessee

Protesters along the route held signs saying, ''Worst President Ever,'' and ''Guilty of War Crimes.'' Police fired streams of water to disperse protesters gathering around the city.

''This president has not made the world safer or better for most of us,'' said Tina Palermo of Brooklyn, N.Y., who was in a group that planned to march to Lafayette Park across from the White House. ''We're at war and more of us are poorer - that's not a success in my book.''
 
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  Blame Canada

"Most were drawn there by their opposition to the war in Iraq and they carried signs such as "Mandate, My Ass," "Worst President Ever," and "Bring the Troops Home Now, Send Barbara and Jenna," referring to the president's twin daughters.

Some carried banners calling for Bush's impeachment; others carried cardboard coffins."
 
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  Congrats to Bartcop Again!

"bartcop.com makes Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update.

Usually when we make Update, they steal a joke from the page.
Jimmy Fallin was notorius for stealing stuff (see the back pages) but we forgave him.

This time, they mentioned our sign project.
In their opening skit Saturday, Tina and Amy pretended to be Jenna and Barb,
drunk in their rooms, asking each other if Daddy was a good president.

"I'm not sure - we saw all those signs saying 'Worst President Ever'..." "
 
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  --Must--Kill--Eyerackis--Must--Kill--Eyerackis

 
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  AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
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  Frisky Froggy?

Or attempt to pollute our childrens' minds with their evul, evul ways? You decide... 
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  Take That You Stoopid Depression!

 
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  Well That's Just Great

As if we didn't have enough to be depressed about already... 
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  Oooooh. Ouch.

Get your opinion out and point out to dog owners that they need to clean up after their pets...

 
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Rip out the table
we need room to move
in a life unstable
you're so easily amused
anywhere you hang
yourself is home
throw in a tape, fix the tone

The windows are dirty let's hope it rains
add another newspaper
something to do with my change
I see we're fighting again
In some fucking land
throw in another tape man

Someone take the wheel
and I don't know where we're going
anybody say what you feel
everybody's sad, but nobody's showing

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