Someone Take The Wheel
5.06.2004
  HA!

*** FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE ***

2004 Republican National Convention schedule
Contact: Christine Diverson, 202-555-8614


DAY ONE

"The First Amendment and its Importance to a Free America"
Antonin Scalia; sponsored by the Media Research Center {no press allowed}

"Why the 'Old Rules' No Longer Apply in Post 9/11 America"
John Aschroft; to be followed by a ritual burning of an original copy of the Constitution

"Why Women and the Non-Religious are Substantially Inferior"
Pat Robertson; cosponsored by Concerned Women for America and the Taliban

(snip)


DAY TWO

"Violence: the solution to every problem"
Richard Perle; cosponsored by the Defense Policy Board and the NRA

"Why Our Capitalist System Works: the competitive bidding process"
Dick Cheney; cosponsored by Halliburton, The Carlyle Group and the Saudi Royal Family

"The First Amendment: why all Americans are free to agree with us"
John Ashcroft; cosponsored by every patriotic American

(snip)


DAY THREE

"Why Sharing Our Toys Is Fundamentally Bad"
Stephen Moore; cosponsored by the Club For Growth and the National Council of Kindergarteners

"Ralph Nader: True American Hero"
Ed Gillespie; cosponsored by Raytheon and other corporations in Nader's portfolio

"Clean Lands, Clean Air: cutting down trees to reduce smoke pollution"
Gale Norton; sponsored by the American Forest and Paper Association

Keynote Address:

"The Fourth Reich: honoring the legacy of my grandfather"
President Karl C. Rove; sponsored by the Heritage Foundation
 
|

Rip out the table
we need room to move
in a life unstable
you're so easily amused
anywhere you hang
yourself is home
throw in a tape, fix the tone

The windows are dirty let's hope it rains
add another newspaper
something to do with my change
I see we're fighting again
In some fucking land
throw in another tape man

Someone take the wheel
and I don't know where we're going
anybody say what you feel
everybody's sad, but nobody's showing

ARCHIVES
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