Someone Take The Wheel
12.06.2003
  Stranger Breaks This Story About My Boyfriend's (Samela's Words) 'Quiet Courage':

From the August issue of Esquire

"In August 1995, the general—three stars, working as J-5 for the Joint Chiefs—went to Bosnia as part of the negotiating team Ambassador Richard Holbrooke had put together to end the civil war that had resulted in the massacre of as many as eight thousand Muslim men and boys at the town of Srebrenica the month before. In Belgrade, Clark had met for the first time Serbian president Slobodan Milosevic, who was sponsoring the Bosnian Serbs. Now the team had to travel to Sarajevo. Told that the airport in Sarajevo was too dangerous to fly into, the team decided to drive and asked Milosevic to guarantee its safety on a road held by Bosnian Serbs. Milosevic did not, and so the team wound up taking a fortified Humvee and an armored personnel carrier on a pitched, narrow, winding mountain road notoriously vulnerable to Serb machine-gun fire. Clark and Holbrooke went in the Humvee, the rest in the APC. In his book, the general describes what happened this way: "At the end of the first week we had a tragic accident on Mount Igman, near Sarajevo. were killed when the French armored personnel carrier in which they were riding broke through the shoulder of the road and tumbled several hundred meters down a steep hillside."

It is not until one reads Holbrooke's book, To End a War, that one finds out that after the APC went off the road, Clark grabbed a rope, anchored it to a tree stump, and rappelled down the mountainside after it, despite the gunfire that the explosion of the APC set off, despite the warnings that the mountainside was heavily mined, despite the rain and the mud, and despite Holbrooke yelling that he couldn't go. It is not until one brings the incident up to the general that one finds out that the burning APC had turned into a kiln, and that Clark stayed with it and aided in the extraction of the bodies; it is not until one meets Wesley Clark that one understands the degree to which he held Milosevic accountable."
 
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12.05.2003
  These People Endorse My Boyfriend

Latest Endorsements:
US Congressman (TN) Lincoln Davis
Former United States Senator Dale Bumpers
US Congressman (NY) Anthony Wiener
Former Ambassador to Spain Ed Romero
Former Phoenix Mayor Paul Johnson
Hispanic community leader Jose Villarreal 
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  Ho Ho HO

I'm laughing like Santa, Claus the President REHEARSES HIS TOWN HALL MEETINGS, and tells the common people what to say. 
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  Spread It Around 
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  Oops

Turns out the chick who got trampled in Wal-Mart has a history of falling down and suing big stores. Someone Take The Wheel regrets the error. 
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  Need Help With Your Over-Excited Toddler?

Go here:  
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  Tilt Your Head To The Right

And read this again. Thanks to Fark and Killer Tomato.

 
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  Oh My

Them damb Pareeseeanns aren't calling our boys cowards are they?

PARIS, Dec 04, 2003 (Kyodo via COMTEX) -- One thousand and seven hundred U.S. soldiers have deserted their posts in Iraq, with many of them failing to return to military duty after getting permission to go back to the United States, according to the French weekly magazine Le Canard Enchaine. 
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  Eminem Wants Preznit Dead

Wonder if he'll get a visit from the MIB?

On the track WE AS AMERICANS, Eminem raps: 'F**k money. I don't rap for dead presidents. I'd rather see the president dead. It's never been said, but I set precedents and the standards and they can't stand it... We as Americans. Us as a citizen. We've got to protect ourselves' 
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  (Bart Simpson Voice):Ha Ha!


The evidence used to search Rush's doctor's office. Found at the Smoking Gun
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  You Gotta See This

Atrios tells more on the story for getting in trouble at school for saying "gay". It's strange stuff indeed. 
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  I'm Getting Embarassed For Them Now

This is the next lie to cover up the lies: We thought it was a British Airlines pilot because he had a British accent. Goodness.

Dec. 4, 2003 | WASHINGTON (AP) -- The White House offered its third version Thursday of a pilot who spotted Air Force One while it flew to Iraq -- a sighting that if publicly disclosed would have scrubbed President Bush's Thanksgiving Day visit to U.S. troops in Baghdad.

The White House said the British accent of a pilot had led the Air Force One crew into thinking it was a British Airways operator who saw the presidential Boeing 747 on its surprise flight.

-snip-
Earlier, White House communications director Dan Bartlett had said a British Airways plane radioed the tower in London and reported the apparent sighting. Before that, Bartlett had left the incorrect impression that the conversation had taken place between the British Airways pilot and the pilot of Air Force One, Col. Mark Tillman.

Asked about the legalities of filing a phony flight plan, McClellan said: "The American people understand the importance of not compromising security, not only for the president of the United States, but for those on board the plane and those on the ground as well,'' McClellan said. "These are unusual circumstances.''
 
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  Bill and Hillary Nominated for Grammys Because They're Rock Stars

WASHINGTON (AP) - In one of the more unexpected political matchups of the year, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton is going head-to-head against liberal pundit Al Franken - for a Grammy.

Clinton, the Democratic senator from New York and former first lady, was nominated for a Grammy Thursday for the audiobook version of "Living History," the best-selling tome on her time in the White House.

She has already won a 1997 Grammy for the audiobook of "It Takes a Village." Now, she'll be competing with Franken, talk show host Bill Maher, actor Don Cheadle and poet Nikki Giovanni.

"That's tough competition," said Clinton, noting her husband, former President Bill Clinton, also was nominated for a Grammy.


 
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  Christmas In Washington

NEWSALERT:

The Supreme Court ruled today there cannot be a live nativity scene in

Washington, DC this Christmas.



This isn't for any religious or constitutional reason, they simply have

not been able to locate three wise men and a virgin in the nation's capitol.



There was no problem however finding enough asses to fill the stable.
 
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  Don't Mess With Santa

He'll kick your ass. Yeah, Santa really takes the easy way out. Not only does he keep up with who's naughty and nice all year, he personally manages and oversees all those damn elves and reindeer. Would YOU want to go around landing on slick roofs and trying to squeeze down chimneys all over the world? George, you've gone too far.

"It's always good to see Santa. I know you've got a lot of commitments this time of year. We also know how Santa gets around: he travels in the dark of night, he arrives unannounced -- and he's gone before you know he was there. Santa, I can assure you, it's a lot easier on a flying sled than it is on Air Force One. "

 
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  About Time

Apparently the ACLU has also filed suit over those completely unconstitutional (i.e., illegal) "free-speech zones". Give 'em hell ACLU:

The ACLU has denounced a classified FBI intelligence memorandum, obtained by the New York Times, which gives police detailed instructions on how to target and monitor lawful political demonstrations under the rubric of fighting terrorism.

"This bulletin confirms that the federal government is targeting innocent Americans engaged in nothing more than lawful protest and dissent. The American people deserve an explanation for what is clearly a return to the days of J. Edgar Hoover's spying tactics," said Anthony D. Romero, ACLU Executive Director.

According to a front-page story in the New York Times, the memorandum was circulated to local law enforcement agencies around the country in advance of mass marches and rallies in Washington, DC and San Francisco against the U.S. occupation in Iraq.

...

Of particular concern is one section warning law enforcement about protesters' use of videotaping as an "intimidation" technique. Most mainstream demonstrators often use videotape during protests to document law enforcement activity and, more importantly, deter police from acting outside the law.

 
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  Secret Media Memo Revealed!

 
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12.04.2003
  My Boyfriend Is Right

Date: December 3, 2003
Clark Campaign Response to Senator Kerry's Fondness for James Baker
http://www.clark04.com/press/release/103/
Clark Campaign Communications Director Matt Bennett issued the following statement in response to Senator Kerry's comments today at the Council on Foreign Relations:
"Senator Kerry's suggestion that he might use Bush family consigliere James Baker as a special envoy to the Middle East is offensive. Baker, who was the driving force behind George W. Bush's theft of the 2000 election in the Florida recount, helped to disenfranchise thousands of voters.
We liked it better when Senator Kerry was calling Baker's Florida operation 'thuggism.' If Kerry wants a former Secretary of State who headed a recount effort in Florida, let's stay away from political thugs and go with Warren Christopher." 
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  Lies Damn Lies

So now the turkey George picked up was a decoration. A prop. He spontaneously spotted a photo-op and went for it. No one knew he was going to do that. The White House admits they set up elaborate photo ops but they're sincere about their lies. And in related news, the latest lie to cover up the lie isn't true either. The admin claimed that the pilot who never was didn't directly talk to AF1, but rather the tower. British Airways says they've looked into that claim and it never happened. To add insult to injury, there's an unconfirmed rumor going round that they're also saying they didn't even fly on Air Force One because it would have been too visible.

"Administration officials tell Thursday's WASH POST that Bush picked up a decoration, not a serving plate for photo op... MORE... 'Officials said they did not know the turkey would be there or that Bush would pick it up. A contractor had roasted and primped the turkey to adorn the buffet line, while the 600 soldiers were served from cafeteria-style steam trays,' Mike Allen at POST to report. White House officials do not deny that they craft elaborate events to showcase Bush, but they maintain that these events are designed to accurately dramatize his policies and to convey qualities about him that are real. 'This was effective, because it captured something about the president that people know is true, that he really cares about the soldiers and gets emotional when he sees them,' Mary Matalin, a former administration official, said about the trip to Baghdad... Developing..." 
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12.03.2003
  Call Me Naive

I saw this picture today and didn't notice what was funny about it at all until someone pointed out that Mrs. Gep must be a very happy woman indeed.

 
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  Chalk One Up For The Good Guys

Judge orders a halt to a water bottling facility that was removing groundwater at a rate of 175 gallons per minute. Astoundingly, the Judge had a few things to say about the legal battle over privatization of water. Sometimes they get it right.

"Root left this door slightly ajar, however, arguing that “water as water” deserves special legal status, and that its “higher social value” must be protected. "

And of course, the activists who brought the suit are overjoyed:

"Today is clearly a victory,” said Holly Wren Spaulding of Sweetwater Alliance, a statewide group which has campaigned extensively against the bottling plant. “It is one of many that we expect in order to secure water for people and all life, rather than profit that knows no conscience.”

Commenting on the ‘David and Goliath’ nature of their struggle, MCWC member Lois Hartzler said, “Honestly, I didn’t have any hope going into today—I’m totally blown away.”

Hartzler is one of five Michigan water activists who recently returned from a national water strategy meeting in Miami.

“After hearing so many success stories in Miami which thrilled me, I was so jealous,” Hartzler said. “But now we can claim a victory of our own. Those eleven miles of stainless steel pipe which pump water to the plant will now sit empty.”


 
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  From Dean's Hardball Interview

Very good point he makes about staying away from the divisive hot-button issues and talking about what concerns real people (you know, the ones government officials are supposed to represent?). However, I disagree about abortion. It is a divisive issue, but all the anti-choice onslauhts that have occurred since Bush has been in office means, in my view, this is a very real, pressing issue.

DEAN: We talk very directly to both white working-class people and African-Americans about their common interests, which are jobs, education and health care.
We have got to stop having the campaigns run in this country based on abortion, guns, God and gays, and start talking about education, jobs and health care.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
MATTHEWS: President...
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)  
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  This is Absolutely Friggin' Hilarious

Some pranksters decided to alter a billboard to send a message to Senator Wyden:

 
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  Thessaloniki 7 out of Prison

On November 26th, the "Thessaloniki 7" won a five months struggle against the Greek prison system and various Greek authorities. Souleiman "Kastro" Dakduk from Syria, Simon Chapman from the UK, Fernando Perez Gorraiz and Carlos Martin Martinez from Spain and Spyros Tsitsas were on hungerstrike between 49 and 66 days in protest against the conditions of their arrest and imprisonment.

The Saloniki 7 were amongst 29 protesters arrested during the protests against the EU summit in Thessaloniki. While the others have been released, the seven were held on remand on charges of rioting, possession of explosives and resisting authorities. All 7 say that these charges are false, as say their friends, family and supporters. In Simon Chapman's case, video and photographic evidence confirm that he was framed.
 
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  This Is Good News

Now if I could only get my Ex to pay some child support...

 
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  M'kay

Atrios reports on the Bush admin's lies to cover up their lies about the sighting of Air Force One that never was (Old Shoe). 
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  Dead Cat Bounce

WASHINGTON (AP) - President Bush's standing with the public has improved since his surprise Thanksgiving trip to Iraq amid signs of a stronger economy and following congressional passage of a prescription drug benefit under Medicare. 
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  Snigger.

From The Onion:

Alan Colmes Loses Argument With Nephew

NEW YORK—Alan Colmes, the liberal co-host of the Fox News debate program Hannity & Colmes, lost an argument to his nephew Bryan while babysitting the 8-year-old Monday. "I wanted to stay up late to watch television, but Uncle Alan said, 'There's already too much self-parenting in America,'" Bryan said. "So I started screaming, 'Mom lets me, Mom lets me,' real loud. He gave in after, like, 20 seconds." In the past two years, Bryan has won arguments with Colmes on the subjects of Pokémon cards, Crunch Berries cereal, and steel tariffs 
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  You Just Don't Get It

Good article about the discussion/exchange of ideas-ending buzzphrases that deaden the mind:

Two phrases should be banned from political arguments, public and private: "you just don't get it" and "liberal bias."

People who get frothy when arguing about politics these days employ these two phrases -- code words, really -- as sanctimonious trump cards that end debate, victoriously. "You think Howard Dean is all wet on special interests? You just don't get it. You lose, shut up." "You needle President Bush for saying the bombings in Iraq are a sign of progress? You're a stooge of liberal bias. You lose, shut up." You don't need an ear trumpet to get blasted by these bursts of empty air daily.

These phrases are substitutes for thought. They replace argument and articulation with assertion and insult.

-more-

 
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  Bribery in Congress

You know, it gets depressing after awhile, reporting on all the corruption that goes on in this administration. Can't we hurry up and just have a damb election? What the hell is the matter with Republicans: Are they fatally allergic to a fair fight?

Rep. Nick Smith, R-Mich., says that sometime late Nov. 21 or early in the morning Nov. 22, somebody on the House floor threatened to redirect campaign funds away from his son Brad, who is running to succeed him, if he didn't support the Medicare prescription bill. This according to the Associated Press. Robert Novak further reports,

On the House floor, Nick Smith was told business interests would give his son $100,000 in return for his father's vote. When he still declined, fellow Republican House members told him they would make sure Brad Smith never came to Congress. After Nick Smith voted no and the bill passed, [Rep.] Duke Cunningham of California and other Republicans taunted him that his son was dead meat.
 
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  I Know Exactly How They Feel

Shop workers in Austria are demanding compensation for the "psychological terror" of being subjected to hours of piped Christmas music.

A study by trade union leaders found that listening to endless hours of Silent Night and Jingle Bells made shop staff "aggressive and confrontational".
 
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  Afraid of a Real Hero?
Guess they just can't stand the idea of a man with real experience and success (who also happens to look pretty good in that uniform) testifying in an international hearing. Nope, can't have that.

LONDON -- The Bush administration has imposed heavy secrecy and censorship measures on the testimony of retired Gen. Wesley Clark, the former NATO commander seeking the Democratic presidential nomination, when he takes the stand later this month at the war crimes trial of Slobodan Milosevic.

The administration's action will blunt the drama of what many expected to be crucial moment in Milosevic's lengthy trial and perhaps one of the defining moments in the presidential campaign of Clark, who defeated the Yugoslav leader in the Kosovo campaign.

 
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  Whack Job: Kill The Protesters
I am a United States sailor. I have chosen to defend my country and the freedom some take for granted.
I love my country, my family, my freedom. Only by the blood which was shed by the service members before me did we receive this freedom.

There are some, though, who do not appreciate this freedom. I call these people traitors; they call themselves protesters. They are nothing more than an infectious disease that infests the minds and hearts of the Americans we are defending. It consumes the honor and courage within its host until it kills the very patriotism that made this country.

There is no cure for this disease. Never will everyone be satisfied. But let it be known what this guardian of America's freedom thinks of these protesters: Traitors should be hanged. I hold our enemies in higher standing. At least they are willing to fight for their beliefs and the country they love.

Sonar Technician

Derik L.Jobe

U.S. Navy

Amarillo 
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12.02.2003
  I Wonder Why

As the Janklow trial heats up, HHolli from the Bartcop Forum asks why the press never refer to Janklow's political affiliation. Good question! Let's just clear it up:

Janklow, the guy who ran into a father/volunteer fireman/lover of motorcycles by running a stop sign and killed him, is a REPUBLICAN.

Thanks REPUBLICAN Congressman Janklow (R-Killer).

Don't like it? Remember Condit? Of course you do. So kiss it. 
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  Hi. I'm an Idiot. And I think You Are An Idiot Too.

That's why I use these handy carts to compare tax plans.

 
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  Looking Good Honey

Do try to smile a little more...


Democratic presidental candidate retired Gen. Wesley Clark speaks about AIDS policy during a campaign stop at the AIDS Project Florida Community HIV Intervention Center in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., Monday, Dec. 1, 2003. (AP Photo/David Adame)
 
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  Boo. Hiss.

Ron Gunzburger tells us Nader's running again:

"If anyone has doubts about Ralph Nader's plans for 2004, his new website should erase those doubts. Yup, it appears Nader will make a fourth run for President in 2004. The site -- which was registered October 24 by the folks at VoteNader.org (his official 2000 campaign site) -- went online this week in a very nascent form. - snip -

The committee is so new that it is not yet registered with the FEC. However, the committee does not need to register until it raises or spends at least $5,000. One Naderite reader -- who received a mailed notice from the committee last week -- said the note implied Nader planned to run again. Interestingly, the note gave the impression Nader was possibly looking to run this time as an Independent instead of a Green. - more -.

 
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  More on The Turkey Has Landed Story

Snabby from the Bartcop Forum found this little gem in CNN's coverage:

"On his way home, Bush tells reporters that he would not have made the trip if the press had not been able to accompany him, but he says he had been ready to cancel the journey if the story leaked and security was threatened." 
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  Resident Bush Needs a Reality Check not a Fundraising Check

Bush made a 20-minute speech to a crowd of about 500 party faithful in the main ballroom of the Hanover Marriott at a $2,000-a-plate evening fund-raiser.

Not breaking any ground, Bush highlighted the accomplishments of his administration, saying he had eliminated the terror threat from Afghanistan and weapons of mass destruction from Iraq and ensured that Medicare will remain solvent.


 
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  Remember the song Old Shoe?

Turns out there was no British Airways pilot radioing Air Force One. I told you it was all a load of crap.

British Airways said yesterday that none of its pilots made contact with President Bush's plane during its secret flight to Baghdad on Thanksgiving, contradicting White House reports of a midair exchange that nearly prompted Bush to call off his trip. Honor Verrier, a spokeswoman for British Airways in North America, said two British Airways aircraft were in the area at the time and neither radioed the president's plane to ask if it was Air Force One.

"We have spoken to the British Airways captains who were in the area at the time and neither made comments to Air Force One nor did they hear any other aircraft make the statement over the radio," Verrier said.

The White House had no immediate comment on the discrepancy.



 
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  Tsk Tsk

Dec. 1, 2003 | LAFAYETTE, La. (AP) -- A 7-year-old boy was scolded and forced to write "I will never use the word `gay' in school again" after he told a classmate about his lesbian mother, the American Civil Liberties Union alleged Monday.

snip...

"I was concerned when the assistant principal called and told me my son had said a word so bad that he didn't want to repeat it over the phone," Huff said. "But that was nothing compared to the shock I felt when my little boy came home and told me that his teacher had told him his family is a dirty word." 
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  Fresh Laundry Scores Again

With this ingenious Bush backdrop generator. Just pick the picture you want to display and enter the text to appear on those annoying little backgrounds they love to use.

http://home.comcast.net/~freshlaundry/bush.html

 
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12.01.2003
  Madsen Agrees With Me

And points out a hundred other inconsistencies with the Turkey Has Landed story that I didn't notice...here
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  Isikoff Is a Scumbag

Looks like Michael Isikoff is up to his old tricks again. And this pony only seems to know one: smear. Let's not mention that Bush is the KING of sealing records. Let's call them "secret". Let's get everybody speculating about what dirty secrets Dean must have to hide. And let's print that same old picture Drudge used that makes him look like a madman. What a load of crap. Shame on Newsweek for printing this lame excuse for an article.



Politics: What’s in Howard Dean’s Secret Vermont Files?

By Michael Isikoff
NEWSWEEK

Dec. 8 issue — As investigative reporters and “oppo” researchers flock to Vermont to dig into Howard Dean’s past, they have run into a roadblock. A large chunk of Dean’s records as governor are locked in a remote state warehouse—the result of an aggressive legal strategy designed in part to protect Dean from political attacks
 
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  This is Just Weird

Not altogether surprising...but weird.

It's the FDNY's "dirty little secret."

At least a dozen of New York's Bravest - some of them assigned to look after Sept. 11 widows - have left their wives for the spouses of their comrades killed in the terror attacks, sources told The Post.
 
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  Ewwwww

This is just creepy.

BEIJING, (AFP) - Outrage is growing over a factory processing dead bodies in northeast China for a German company that puts them on display in major European cities, state media says.

 
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  Too Much Beer With the Turkey, Georgie?


President Bush (news - web sites) has a little trouble with the last step during his arrival on Air Force One at Las Vegas-McCarran International Airport Tuesday, Nov. 25, 2003 (AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)  
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Filipinos light candles to commemorate AIDS (news - web sites) victims in Manila December 1, 2003. Millions of people marked World AIDS Day on Monday with parades and prayers as a new global plan was launched to rush life-saving anti-retroviral(ARV) drugs to three million sufferers by 2005. Photo by Erik De Castro/Reuters  
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  Um...

How exactly does one become aware of this news, get pins printed and distributed to stores (in Crawford no less) in a matter of hours? I mean really. I smell a planted story. And we don't know who the pilot is either. Coincidence? I don't think so.

CRAWFORD, Texas (Reuters) - One of the most suspenseful moments during President Bush's secret flight to Baghdad, according to the White House, came when a British Airways pilot spotted Air Force One soaring over the Atlantic.

The mid-air encounter, which aides say nearly prompted the president to call off the trip, became an instant news sensation, memorialized by tourist pins which went on sale at a store in Crawford within hours of Bush's return to his Texas ranch.
 
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  Not Hiding In The Airport


Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton gets a tour through barracks of the 2nd battalion 2nd Airborne Division in Baghdad by Lt. Col. Brian Mennes, Friday Nov 28, 2003. (AP Photo/Dusan Vranic/Pool) 
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  Give 'Em Hell John

WASHINGTON (AP) - Congress is throwing away astonishing amounts, "spending money like a drunken sailor," and President Bush shares the blame because he is not using his veto power, Republican Sen. John McCain said Sunday.

 
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  Thanks Gran.

I feel so much better now. Let's just create more headlines with my name and the phrase "tiny penis" in them...

Justin Timberlake's grandmother says Britney Spears was wrong to suggest he's got a tiny penis. 
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  Rummy Gets Gobbledegook Award

US defence secretary Donald Rumsfeld has talked his way into the gobbledegook hall of fame.

He got the Plain English campaign's "Foot In Mouth" award for a statement on the problem of "unknown unknowns".

Examples of both the best and worst communication will be held up at the organisation's annual awards ceremony in London. 
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  53rd and 3rd

The corner of Second Street and Bowery near the legendary CBGBs will be christened "Joey Ramone Place" for the band's lead singer, who died of cancer in 2001 at 49.

The ceremony to name the corner for Ramone, who was born Jeffrey Hyman, was scheduled for Sunday.



 
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  RonV from the Bartcop Forum gets Tough

 
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11.30.2003
  Nothing To See Here Citizens

Move along...

"Military officials deny they are fudging the numbers. But the latest figures show that 9,675 U.S. troops have been killed, wounded, injured such as in accidents, or become sick enough to require airlifting out of Iraq."

Thanks to Killer Tomato 
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Rip out the table
we need room to move
in a life unstable
you're so easily amused
anywhere you hang
yourself is home
throw in a tape, fix the tone

The windows are dirty let's hope it rains
add another newspaper
something to do with my change
I see we're fighting again
In some fucking land
throw in another tape man

Someone take the wheel
and I don't know where we're going
anybody say what you feel
everybody's sad, but nobody's showing

ARCHIVES
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