Someone Take The Wheel
  Let 'Em Dangle

Kim "let his people starve and shrink in size as a result of malnutrition," Bush said, thrusting out his arms and bringing his hands toward each other.

  You don't SAY.

"It's horrendous, it's absolutely horrendous," Michael Reagan, a nationally syndicated radio host, complained after viewing eight minutes' worth of excerpts of the film, which stars James Brolin, husband of Reagan-hater Barbra Streisand, as the 40th president.

"They paint my father as a buffoon."

Thanks to Cornel!

  Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better!

Bill can do anything better than you...

Bill and Hillary viewing the AIDS quilt on the Mall 
  Maybe This Guy Could Give His Shoes to Lenin

I hear he needs a new pair.

Click here to see why. 
  What A Difference a Day Makes

Our Dear Leader, it turns out, is either lying about his religion or he's lost it. If the past is anything to judge by, I'm betting on the fact that he's lying.

In The Widening Crusade, the Village Voice reported:

"People close to the president say that his conversion to evangelical Methodism, after a life of aimless carousing, markedly informs his policies, both foreign and domestic. ... in the election year 2000, Bush told Texas preacher James Robison, one of his spiritual mentors: 'I feel like God wants me to run for president. I can't explain it, but I sense my country is going to need me. . . . I know it won't be easy on me or my family, but God wants me to do it.'

Mansfield also reports: 'Aides found him face down on the floor in prayer in the Oval Office. It became known that he refused to eat sweets while American troops were in Iraq, a partial fast seldom reported of an American president. And he framed America's challenges in nearly biblical language. Saddam Hussein is an evildoer. He has to go.' "

But things aren't really that simple, now are they?

Reuters (via Yahoo) reports that the prezzie's been havin' a few little sneaky snacks:

"Bush was in an expansive mood on the flight from Indonesia to Australia, wearing an Air Force One flight jacket, snacking noisily on a butterscotch sweets and chopping the air for emphasis."

Busted, Fool.

Thanks to Atrios!

  Dogs of War

  What Rumsfeld Really Thinks About the Global War on Terror

"The United States has no yardstick for measuring progress in the war on terrorism, has not "yet made truly bold moves" in fighting al-Qaeda and other terror groups, and is in for a "long, hard slog" in Iraq and Afghanistan, according to a memo that Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld sent to top-ranking Defense officials last week."

Haven't we been saying this all along?
  I guess Sometimes Pigs Really Do Fly!

Financial Times says: "George Bush, former US president, is retiring from his position as senior adviser to the Carlyle Group, officials at the well-connected Washington-based private equity firm said yesterday."

  Thanks to Fresh Laundry for this one!

  It's Curtains For You

Curtains Ordered for Media Coverage of Returning Coffins
Since the end of the Vietnam War, presidents have worried that their military actions would lose support once the public glimpsed the remains of U.S. soldiers arriving at air bases in flag-draped caskets.

To this problem, the Bush administration has found a simple solution: It has ended the public dissemination of such images by banning news coverage and photography of dead soldiers' homecomings on all military bases.

In March, on the eve of the Iraq war, a directive arrived from the Pentagon at U.S. military bases. "There will be no arrival ceremonies for, or media coverage of, deceased military personnel returning to or departing from Ramstein airbase or Dover base, to include interim stops," the Defense Department said, referring to the major ports for the returning remains. 
  Yey! My Dad's a Super-Hero!

But do you really think this makes the "responsible father" case in court? Or do you think it just makes them look really really weird?

  How About A Contest to See Who Can Kick a DJ's Ass First?

Cyclists fail to see the humor in deejays' calls for assaults

Kevin Bray was, well, shocked, when he heard that shock jocks were urging their listeners to run bicyclists off the road. He was horrified when he found out it had happened at least three times since July, in each case at stations owned by radio behemoth Clear Channel -- first in Cleveland, then Houston and finally at a station in Raleigh, N.C. To Bray, an avid cyclist and veteran North Carolina highway patrolman, there seemed to be an ominous pattern developing.


Rip out the table
we need room to move
in a life unstable
you're so easily amused
anywhere you hang
yourself is home
throw in a tape, fix the tone

The windows are dirty let's hope it rains
add another newspaper
something to do with my change
I see we're fighting again
In some fucking land
throw in another tape man

Someone take the wheel
and I don't know where we're going
anybody say what you feel
everybody's sad, but nobody's showing

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